Prince William and The London Garbage Cans

Prince William curled up beside piles of garbage in a frigid London alley to walk a block or two in the shoes of the homeless, according to The Daily Mail (byway of The Daily Beast).

Publications are making immediate mention of the security entourage that accompanied the prince on his transient adventure, almost turning their noses up as if this doesn't count as an act of charity. A great many people with roofs over their heads in this world, no matter how low profile, would never sleep betwixt two wheelie bins among the rats and roaches, even if Zahal was to form a human barricade.

Since matriarchal societies have expired as any form of significant power and now serve to humor culture and tourism, it's great that Prince William is not only paying attention on a global scale (since it's part of his royal profile), but to his own community.

Readers are commenting that this is a mere PR stunt and that he will return to his posh lifestyle, which apparently squashes this act of kindness, like paper covers rock. Put simply, he is expected to abandon his nightly gold leaf Belgian chocolate desserts and live life beneath a high rise's trash chute to wallow in crumpled bags of Walkers crisps and a barrage of used feminine napkins. We should write him a strongly-worded letter (and be sure to include our day time phone numbers), which will go something like this:

Prince William,

How dare you attend your grandmother's (sometimes known as The Queen of England) Christmas lunch, a fine feast of fish and chips and toad-in-the-hole, after sleeping on concrete in below freezing conditions! The nerve of you to revert back to the life you've always known after generously serving meals to the homeless at a dodgy hostel. And to celebrate Centrepoint's 40th anniversary of giving London's young homeless a future? We are outraged. As a prince, and an example to our children, we urge you to continue to live life in poverty since all we can afford is plenty of food on our tables and an occasional trip to the theatre.

Thank You,

The Guileless Bourgeoisie

Now we can all feel better about ourselves.

Happy Holidays!

It's Been a While, Mrs. Doubtfire

We've reached a time when it's safe to acknowledge that movies made in the 1990s have a specific look, which dates those of us who are reluctantly crossing over into the realm of the grown-ups.

Society dictates that we reach adulthood at 18, but let's not confuse adults with grown-ups since they're entirely different. Adults can drink, vote and "make decisions" but grown-ups pay for your food, have the right answers, and drive safely.

It's obvious that the new freshman class of the grown-ups has arrived since life-changing films such as "Mrs. Doubtfire" possess tell-tale 1990s qualities. These include relatively soft images, zany antics and most importantly, montages. If we compare "Mrs. Doubtfire" to "Meet the Browns", for example, the differences are striking and even depressing.

"Mrs. Doubtfire's" winning cast includes Sally Field, Robin Williams, Pierce Brosnan and most notably, Matthew Lawrence (perhaps his most riveting performance to date). With an official tagline proclaiming that "She'll Rock your World", everyone was shaking in their Reeboks anticipating Robin Williams in a role reminiscent of Tootsie with a hip twist of Aerosmith.

Many agree that the concept of a loser father who dresses in drag to spend time with his children while selfishly lying to everyone around him is quite controversial and at the very least, impolite. But throw in Sally's sweetness with Robin's spot-on comedic timing and it's PG through and through.

The point here is that without "Mrs. Doubtfire", I probably could have played outside a few times or followed through with gymnastics. I must have watched that VHS 7,468 times while drinking a box of Yoohoo. The risk this dad took to spend time with his kids was inspiring and joyous. His determination to learn how to cook, and all the kookiness that ensues when he puts it to the test warmed my thriving 9-year-old heart.

Let us not forget that the main source of our adoration for Mrs. Doubtfire is that she is actually a man. This is funny. This is hilarious. We laugh heartily because men are supposed to act one way, and women another.

I am proud to say that "Mrs. Doubtfire" is one of the greatest films of all time (maybe ever). Although it's hard to come to terms with becoming a grown-up, a movie like "Mrs. Doubtfire" kindly affords us fond memories of our childhoods in the 1990s.

"Milk Money" to follow.