Prince William and The London Garbage Cans

Prince William curled up beside piles of garbage in a frigid London alley to walk a block or two in the shoes of the homeless, according to The Daily Mail (byway of The Daily Beast).

Publications are making immediate mention of the security entourage that accompanied the prince on his transient adventure, almost turning their noses up as if this doesn't count as an act of charity. A great many people with roofs over their heads in this world, no matter how low profile, would never sleep betwixt two wheelie bins among the rats and roaches, even if Zahal was to form a human barricade.

Since matriarchal societies have expired as any form of significant power and now serve to humor culture and tourism, it's great that Prince William is not only paying attention on a global scale (since it's part of his royal profile), but to his own community.

Readers are commenting that this is a mere PR stunt and that he will return to his posh lifestyle, which apparently squashes this act of kindness, like paper covers rock. Put simply, he is expected to abandon his nightly gold leaf Belgian chocolate desserts and live life beneath a high rise's trash chute to wallow in crumpled bags of Walkers crisps and a barrage of used feminine napkins. We should write him a strongly-worded letter (and be sure to include our day time phone numbers), which will go something like this:

Prince William,

How dare you attend your grandmother's (sometimes known as The Queen of England) Christmas lunch, a fine feast of fish and chips and toad-in-the-hole, after sleeping on concrete in below freezing conditions! The nerve of you to revert back to the life you've always known after generously serving meals to the homeless at a dodgy hostel. And to celebrate Centrepoint's 40th anniversary of giving London's young homeless a future? We are outraged. As a prince, and an example to our children, we urge you to continue to live life in poverty since all we can afford is plenty of food on our tables and an occasional trip to the theatre.

Thank You,

The Guileless Bourgeoisie

Now we can all feel better about ourselves.

Happy Holidays!